Puto-kutsinta ni Bae Osiang
I wear my heart on my sleeve…(part2)
Apr 24th, 2008 by ella
Please read up to the end, my friends…
TIKEY said: “…Minsan kahit sinasabi ng isip na mali ang desisyon ng puso natin, puso pa rin ang nasusunod. Kahit ilang beses ka pa nasaktan, walang preno ang puso…”
Sang-ayon ako diyan, Tikey dear, walang preno ang puso. Minsan nga dapat binibigyan ng mag-asawang tampal ang mga bulag na umiibig para matauhan eh. Alam mo, I believe soulmate loved me more than I loved him. Ang dami niyang ginawa to prove it.
But it became too complicated, nakakadugo ng ilong ang drama. And I think there came a point he blamed me somehow. Kasi nagulo ko nga yata ang buhay niya. As in major.
MAXI said: “Andito lang ako if you need someone to talk to…”
I know you’ll always be there for me, Maxi. I’ve known it since the first time my heart was broken. Thank you for the love, my friend.
MARK said: “…ay naku sabi nga ng lola ko pag ang sugat naglangib na ‘wag na muna galawin kasi dudugo pa din kahit mukha ng magaling, intayin na lang maging peklat…”
Hmm…bakit kaya ang galing ng mga lolo at lola, no? Pero tama si lola, my friend. Madugo ang self-healing na inabot ko. Palagay ko, Mark, papunta na sa peklat ang sugat ko….
IGNORAMOUS said: “…Gusto niya artificial na umpisa na maihahalintulad sa artificiality ng ending ng isang cheesy movie na kung saan sa huli’y nag-akapan at nagkatuluyan ang dalawang magsing-irog. hahaha…..”
Teka lang Igno, sinong A? Sigurado kang hindi A-hole ‘yan ah hehe. Enweis, nadale mo na naman, dude. Medyo na-conclude ko nga ‘yan eh. Hirap na hirap kasi akong magpaliwanang ng mga bagay-bagay sa kanya. Paano kung hindi ideal ending, soul searching na naman?
Please read on, friend…
EMILY said: “…you don’t necessarily have to marry that one…you can find happiness somewhere else.. I still believe my ex is still my soul mate..but looking back..had I married him, I don’t think it will work….”
Naisip ko rin ngayon ‘yan, Emily dear. I also think the love we had was not good for both of us. As in too much of anything is bad for the health. Sobra kasi eh. Para na kaming baliw.
Noong una, magkaibigan lang kami. But when he said “I love you, Ella”, doon na nagsimula ang maraming problema. We should have remained friends.
What made me even sadder is the fact that I lost a true friend. Sana hindi na lang sinabi ‘yung pesteng “I love you” na ‘yon! Please read on, my friend..
KATRINA said: “… ang akin naman, kung sino yung nakapagpapangiti sa iyo at pinalilipad ang mga paru-paro mo sa tiyan pag naiisip mo sya, yun na! Pag naman naiisip mo isang tao at nakakaramdam ka ng lungkot, baka habambuhay kang palungkutin, ending, lanta ang byuti mo…”
Paano ‘yan, Kat dear, if I feel both. May paru-paro sa tiyan sabay meron ding lungkot?
THE GASOLINE DUDE said: “…Definitely not worth it. I do not really believe in the “soulmateâ€, “destiny†crap. We make our own destiny…”
Dude, I also do not believe in destiny. But I have one question at hindi ko alam kung bakit sa iyo ko itatanong ito. I will tell you our story…
When soulmate met me, he was engaged to be married to her gf of two years. The plot thickens, eh, guys? We became very good friends as in nagkasundo talaga kami in everything. Parang puzzle na kamang-kama, parang long lost twin ko siya. We worked in the same office.
He introduced me to his fiance. The three of us went out on eating binges. Minsan magkasama pa kami ng gf niya sa shopping sprees. After a while, nagtataka na ako sa kanya kasi bakit laging ako na lang ang kasama niya. Lagi kong hinahanap ang gf niya. Hindi niya ako sinasagot.
Every weekend, umuuwi siya sa probinsiya nila. Pagdating niya kinalunesan, sa akin siya may pasalubong. At sobra sa dami. One time, he was hospitalized, sa akin siya nagpasama. Nagtaka na talaga ako kasi bakit hindi sa gf niya, di ba? Pero ang tanga ko talaga, peste!
One day, bigla na lang niyang sinabing “I love you, Ella” and “Why can’t I see my fiance in my future?” He was in anguish then. He was so confused. Ayaw niyang saktan ang gf niya. He is not a bad guy, dude, pramis.
Putah, you can imagine, nabulunan ako sa popcorn na kinakain ko. For the first time in my life, hindi ako nakapag-bitch! Hindi ako nakapagsalita. Biglang tayo sabay punta sa CR. Wala akong sinabi sa kanya. I just asked him to take me home. Tangina, naging kontrabida ako sa buhay nila. Bad trip.
Kinabukasan, he broke up with his girlfriend. Hindi siya pumasok sa opis kaya hindi ko alam. Shet, dude, she was already shopping for a wedding gown! You can imagine how guilty I was! I know, maraming ganitong pangyayari, pero ayoko nitoooo! I didn’t need this! Shet talaga.
After the break up nila, doon na nagsimula ang break down niya. He was so guilty. Naawa siya sa girlfriend niya, na-hate niya ang sarili niya for hurting her. Wala akong magawa. I had nothing to do with his decision. It’s his life. Hindi ko naman siya maiwan sa ere. As in magdi-disappearing act ba ako?
Atually, I did, dude. Nag-resign ako sa trabaho. When he learned na wala na ako sa opis, nag-resign din siya. Tangina talaga, major chaos!
Hindi na kami nagkita. That was his first soul searching episode. Ako din, nag-little soul searching. Na-miss ko siya, big time. Noon ko na-realize mahal ko rin pala siya. But the humongous guilt was between us.
We met again after a month, nag-usap, umamin ako na mahal ko rin siya. Pero hindi na kami masaya. Hindi na kami tumatawa. There was a girl somewhere with a broken heart. Even if that girl moved on…we never did.
Now, gasoline dude, my friend, ito ang tanong ko. Did we make our own destiny here? I fell in love with him and I know he loved me, too. Hindi namin sinadya ito, hindi namin binalak. It was one great love, believe me. Kahit na nasira ang mundo niyang perfect na sana bago dumating ang isang Ella sa buhay niya.
If I will make my own destiny now, that great love will never be.
Kung hindi niya napatawad ang sarili niya noon, hindi na mangyayari ‘yon kahi’t kailan in our future.
Kahit wala si Merkano sa tabi ko, alam kong mahal niya ako. I can’t say how much right now. But I’m giving him the rest of my life to let me know….
Maraming-maraming salamat po sa mga tumangkilik ng lablayp ko
P.S. nga pala. Hiatus muna ang byuti ko sandali, guys (nice word, hiatus :smile:). Nag-aaral ako eh. Malapit na ang exam ko. Baka hindi ako makapasa. And I have to travel somewheres. See you later, dudes!
Oist P.S. ULIT!!
Sagot ni Gasoline dude:
Is he STILL an option up to now? Based on your posts even before, he still is. And I don’t understand why. (O ganyan lang talaga kayong mga babae? Sobrang na-eexcite sa concept ng destiny at soulmate. Epekto ata ng romance movies, romance novels at mga teleserye sa TV. Hehehe. No offense sa opposite sex.)
Putsa, eto na nga ‘yon! ‘Yung mga romance novels nyahahaha 
Taragis, mas mahaba pa ang post na ‘to kesa telenovela eh. Enweis buti na lang hindi pa ako nakakaalis. Just wanna make it clear.
No, dude, hindi ako maghihintay. Hindi rin ako aasa, even in thought, ni sa panaginip. I will never ever willfully and intentionally hurt Will. I am engaged to be married to him, and marriage is very sacred to me at sa lahat ng babae. Kiligin nga kami eh. Right now, he makes me happy at ‘yon ang importante. I hope I can make him happy, too.
Don’t worry, my friend, this love post is just like a kind of purging. Cleaning house, ika nga. Tumawag kasi si soulmate, di ba? I just wanna be very, very sure na malinis ang budhi ko when Will comes and takes me away to never never land hehe. My future husband deserves no less.
And again, I want to thank you and all my friends who helped me sa paglilinis ng sandamukal na agiw ng aking lumang pag-ibig at nakaraan.
Oh by the way, dude, YES, kinikilig kaming mga babae sa romantic anything, nobela, teleserye, Korean love stories, kahi’t anong baduy na lab istori hahaha Magdusa kayong mga lalaki! Kikiligin pa rin kami forever kahit masuka kayo nyahahaha 
Mwah, my friend. Catch you all laterz. Gotta go!
Hmmmmmmn.. Napahisip ako EL. Yeah. Probably, He’d do some soul searching again. I wonder though: What kind of soul would he find this time. Baka makita na niya ang white lady sa balete drive, noh?
I guess the big cliche (follow your heart) would be the determinant. And again, and oh, and again - it’s up to you. Whatever… Maketh you happy, that is.
But let me choose BoyPinoy for you. (precedent - hiwalayang ruffa and ylmaz. Grounds: Agricultural Differences)
At di ko parin mabasa ang iyong lovelife Ms.E. Poor me. I’m so much a troubled soul.
Igno mahal,
Bakit hindi mo mabasa ang lablayp ko? Kinukurot ba ang puso mo lab? O masyadong mahaba ‘yung kwento? Tinatamad ka lang yata eh. Hahaha don’t worry, mahal pa rin kita, Hindi ako magbabago, dear. Ella, the blogger will have many boyfriends sa net LOL! Ito kasi ang katwiran ko…online romance is fun, harmless, sweet and it will always make your day, di ba? Dapat alam lang natin kung hanggang saan tayo. Just remember, no next level here. So…ituloy ang ating pagmamahalan nyahahahaha
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Ayos na ayos! at least sa ending nakita kong naka smile si Ella!
Hay tikey, my dear friend. Alam mo naman ang byuti ko, laging naka-smile. Kahit nagdudugo na ang puso at gutay-gutay na ang damdamin, tawa pa rin. Ganyan lang talaga ang pag-ibig, bwiset minsan hahaha
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you’re so beautiful, i just love you
Aaaaw, Ric, my man, you never fail to amaze me. A few words from you, gumagaan ang puso ko, ngumingiti ang byuti ko. Ang swerte ng love mo, I’m sure. You always know the right things to say to make a woman feel beautiful and loved. Thanks, dear . Hugs and mwahs!
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Ella, I don’t know you personally so I feel that I don’t have the right to judge whatever actions or decisions you have made in the past.
But then again, it’s all part of the PAST. What’s important is the PRESENT. Is he STILL an option up to now? Based on your posts even before, he still is. And I don’t understand why. (O ganyan lang talaga kayong mga babae? Sobrang na-eexcite sa concept ng destiny at soulmate. Epekto ata ng romance movies, romance novels at mga teleserye sa TV. Hehehe. No offense sa opposite sex.)
Sinasabi ko syo, kung hihintayin mo pa si “soulmate” mo to make a decent and acceptable move, sasakit lang ang ulo mo. Do not dig your own grave, ika nga.
But it’s up to you. Ikaw ang bida dito, hindi sila. You deserve to be happy.
Ei dude,
Nasagot ko na ‘to sa itaas but I still wanna say I’m beginning to really like you. Mas marami kasi akong kaibigang lalaki sa tunay na buhay (parang komiks naman ang dating ko hmmm). I love crying on my guy friends’ shoulders. Know why? Kasi lalo lang nila akong inaasar hehe. May downside lang ito minsan. Walang epek ang byuti ko sa kanila hahaha LOL
They always treat me as one of the guys. I like it better that way, though.
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Ella,
Peace and happiness my friend..that’s what i wish for you. Good luck and i’ll always be here..and i believe, the rest of your friends too…when you are ready to blog again.
If ever you’ll find yourself in Chicago area..e-mail me or call. I think i left my no. somewhere in my e-mail to you. I don’t exactly live in the city of Chicago…i’m west of Chicago..about 40 min. away..pero alam mo naman dito, that’s closer kasi hindi naman ako dumadaan sa traffic..plus we have open tollway na.
GOOD LUCK!
Thank you, Emily dear. Yup, I got your phone number. Na-postpone kasi ang NY trip ko for June. I’ll try na dumaan sa Chicago kung maisisingit sa schedule namin. I’m sure maganda na siya kasi summer na. Somebody told me Chicago area is beautiful in summer.
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Hay! Napaiyak mo ako sa mga post mo (hindi lang ang post na ito huh)
Hay naku Sham, dear, kunsumisyon nga ang lablayp ko. Wala kasi akong super powers na panlaban sa pag-ibig eh. Putsa, if you really think about it, lagi akong talo waaaah
Di bale liligaya rin ako, I’m sure (katulad ng mga telenobela hehe) Laging may silver lining syempre 
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I will miss you kung saan ka man pupunta.
Btw, back to business Miss Ella…hay naranasan ko din yan. Before I thought I found my soulmate kaya yun hiniwalayan ko boyfriend ko ng 4 years. But in the end yung soulmate ko naikasal din sa iba. Pero before nun andami pang ka-ek-ekang drama. Sabi nya itatanan daw nya ako kasi ayaw nyang magpakasal. kaya lang hindi na daw sya pwedeng umatras sa kasal. Sabi ko naman if you truly love me ako pipiliin mo. Eh hindi. So yun naririnig ko sa iba hanggang ngayon hindi sya masaya. In the end, napakasal ako sa lalaking few months ko lang nakilala at masaya naman ako.
So therefore (anhaba nung kwento ko ah) hindi hindi importante na nagkasama kayo ng matagal o soulmate mo sya. Mangyayari na lang talaga kung ano ang nasa kapalaran mo. Punta ka na lang kaya kay Madam Auring?Hehehe.
I love reading about your lablayps kahit luma na hahaha) Ika nga ni gasoline dude, this is where we girls bond hehe. Eh kasi naman, bakit ba sa pag-ibig lang umiikot ang mundo nating mga girls….at saka sa perang pang-shopping nga pala nyahahaha LOLS
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nice although a bit oheartbreaking love story… i’m glad u’ve chosen Will… i really thought ur willing to give ur life waiting for him to find his soul. congrats.. im looking forward to the wedding of the year… heheeh this year na ba?
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Rhapsody dear,
My lablayp adventures continue….abangan. Nakakalokah talaga ang pag-ibig waaaaah
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